My wishes

Wish one day I can successfully found a good, handsome and average standard property of a guy... That guy must also treat me nicely, must remember my birthday and wish me during birthday, I will feel very very happy even though if that guy did not buy me any present and just have his sincere birthday wishes and accompany me during my birthday, and also sing birthday song and the song that I loved for me.

I also wish that I can successfully found a guy which is good in singing because I prefer my future boy friend is a guy who can sing a nice song for me which will touch my heart..

Recently, I also likes a guy, Caven which is good in singing, friendly, hard working, active in sports, smart, average standard of property, quite handsome and he is also an engineer.. All those good personality that he has do really fully the requirement of me that wants to find a good guy to be my future boy friend. However, such good performance of Caven do have a really pretty, smart, rich and also a good girl friend who is also a Taiwanese model. That girl was really perfect and I do feel that Caven and that girl was a perfect match of couple. I will wish them happily ever after and they can get back together again happily although I was feeling so sad when I know that Caven's girl friend was such a perfect girl. I admit sometimes I do quite envy with that perfect girl. I just wish that one day I can be as perfect as her but maybe can't win the heart of a person to like me. Therefore, I feel that I just be myself is better than forcing myself and trained myself to be like others. I feels that I do have other parts which I'm good at and that best part of me maybe that perfect girl doesn't have. However, what's going to happen in the future, in looking forward my future whether I will still meet Caven and be his girl friend or just be a normal friend. All these is to let God to decide and looking forward on our fate.

Things that I've done wrong

Recently, I've really done a big mistake which I've had a big quarrel with my family. Sometimes, I feel that I didn't do anything wrong and just 1 2 explain but for them they feel that I didn't respect them at all and said that I'm arguing with them and don't 1 2 listen 2 them. I think it is because of my disrespect to my parents, always quarrel with them has caused me lost my chance 2 see the handsome guy in my company. This is the karma that I get after having a big quarrel with my family. Before I have a big quarrel with my parents, I will have the chance to see the handsome guy (Caven Hong Yih Kwang) in my company quite frequently.. However, after I have a serious quarrel with my family, I get the karma which I didn't have chance 2 see the handsome guy Caven Yih Kwang anymore... This is the revenge I get for being so bad 2 my family and I should accept it... I really don't know how 2 change my character...feels that whatever I did was always wrong... everyone also said I was wrong... really don't know how 2 do only can consider correct... I was really no mood 2 do anything now... feels like I've spoilt the whole family!!! y am I such a bad girl?!! how can I become such bad?!! must faster correct my bad habits... don't let it become worst!!! please be a good girl!!! don't choose 2 be the bad side!!!

guilty

i feel really guilty recently.. i feel so sorry 4 my sv n co- sv that i have taken too long of time can't complete my fyp n there is too long of time i didn't meet them 2 show them my progress d.. especially my co-sv who is such a nice n gentlemen guy has helped me a lot but i still can't keep my promises 2 complete my fyp on time.. he was really a nice person although he knows that i haven't complete my fyp yet he still didn't scold me.. instead, he is encouraging me 2 complete my fyp.. i really really feel so guilty n really really feel so sorry 4 him... some more, just now he has also called me n concern bout my fyp progress... however, i has disappointed him n told him that i haven't complete my fyp.. i feel so guilty n so sorry 4 him.. i really don't know what 2 do... really wish God can bless me n let me complete my fyp by tomorrow... i don't want to disappoint my co-sv anymore... he is such a nice n gentlemen person n i can't disappoint him.. i feel so guilty that i didn't keep my promises 2 him.. what should i do now? i'm really blaming myself now.. y i always do things so slow? y can't i just do things faster? y can't i just read journal faster n think faster 4 the answer? y i always disappoint my co-sv? y can't i keep my promises 2 him that i will submit 2 him my fyp on time? y i always disappointed him? y can't i do better once? y i always did wrong 2 him? i really felt guilty n keep on blaming myself non stop now...

sad moment

i feel that all the time i was really stupid... i didn't think of my friend has gf already n i shouldn't always ask him 2 go out n also always ask him 2 fetch me go here n there.. actually, last time when i ask him whether he has gf or not that time, he told me that he didn't have any gf n i also believe in what he said.. y am i so stupid 2 believe that he hasn't have any gf? he so handsome n so rich it's impossible didn't have any gf... now only i realize that all the while i was so stupid in believing that he hasn't have any gf... i really feel guilty that last time i always ask him 2 go out n also ask him 2 fetch me here n there... i have wasted his time 2 spend with his gf... i really really felt guilty n stupid now.. some more recently i also stress with my fyp n many other assignments, projects, presentations n so on really makes me feel down everyday.. i really scared n really worried what will happen 2 my future? once i'm thinking bout my future i was so down n frustrated... feels like there r too many bad things has happened on me that makes me feel so down... now the only way 2 be happy is listen 2 some relaxing songs n pray 2 God.. wish Goddess of Mercy will help me n bless me 4 my future, my fyp 2  pass n all my subjects that i've taken will also be pass... that's my only wishes4 my entire life... really wish can graduate smoothly n can found a great job that can earn a lot of money... then i'll buy a house n a car 4 my parents n also another hse n car 4 my own... after that, if i still have money left, i wish i can go travel 2 korea... really wish that i can go those places that the director of korean drama have shooting drama before... really wish i can see n feel those beautiful places in reality.. haha if have fate i also wish i can meet with those korean artists who r my idol... i 1 2 take pictures with them... haha...

disappointed

really disappointed with my friend... she is quite my close friend... i was so disappointed that the moment she knew i was got into an accident, she didn't even care 2 ask me whether am i still fine or not... she knew my accident quite long time ago but she didn't even text me 2 ask me how was my situation recently... i know she busy but i don't think can be so busy till didn't even have time 2 text me a message 2 care 4 me... or maybe because most of the people dislike 2 mix with bad luck person n dislike 2 see or hear bout people which is so pity... from here i know true friend r really hard 2 find... when the moment u needed them the most that time, they r running away n staying away from u... those friends r just will enjoy with u when u r rich but will stay away from u when u r poor... but what 2 do? in this reality world, most of the people r materialistic n they will only mix with u when u rich n staying away from u when u r in trouble... this was makes me really disappointed... really wish 1 day i can found a true friend who will always stay besides me no matter what has happen 2 me n will always care 4 me... but, seems like this true friend was really difficult 2 find... true friend is the 1 who will always stay besides u no matter how busy they r n will always stay besides u no matter u r rich or poor or unlucky...

poor life

the moment when u r being poor, life was really miserable... those delicious food that is in front of u is seducing u 2 buy it...however, once u think of u r poor n r not able 2 buy the food which u wanted 2 eat so much that time was really suffering.. u can see many people r enjoying the food while u just can standing besides them watching them enjoying the food without having the chance 2 enjoy it by your own... moreover, there r times that i can feel some people dislike me because of my attitude of being too stupid n ask stupid questions... i'm a person who easily get hurts when people r comment about me... i will not be able to bare with and endure with people's comment about me... i will feel very down n sad when people comment about me.. i will feel more sad if the people that comment about me is my friend who is quite close with me..

those bad luck i've gone through...

recently i really gone through those bad luck moments... i've been involved in an accidents for 2 times... 1st is road accident n the 2nd is been robbed.. now i've gone through those pain, suffering, stressful n emo moments... now really living in a life on without money, stress with final year projects, assignments, quiz, test, final exam, presentations n also need 2 attend classes 4 the program that i've taken.. all these stressful moments really makes me feel so down... living in a life without money was so suffering because when the moment u r hungry, u will not be able 2 buy the food u wanted 2 eat so much n just can see those people eating so deliciously while u just can see them enjoying it without having the chance 2 try it also... moreover, not just hungry, those projects, assignments, presentations will also makes u so stress with it till makes u really down.. living in a life without money n the tension of the projects really can makes your life feel so down... moreover, the moment when u r feeling down, u r not able 2 go back home or go 4 outing 2 release stress because of no money n really nothing can do... living in this world that is so materialistic, without money really cant survive longer... u will feel like really suffering n really down 4 your entire life... but, never mind i believe that this is the test God give me. God is testing my patience n see whether i can endure with it or not... if i'm able 2 endure with it, then god will makes me become rich in the future... however, another thing that makes me more worried about is my final year project.. i was so scared n worried that am i able 2 done it n submit it by this week.. this really makes me so scared, worried, down... really wish i'm able 2 done it n submit it by this week... being poor at this moment i will be able 2 endure it but if i can't submit my final year project by time, it will makes me feel like my world is ends... i rather wish that Goddess of Mercy can help me 2 finish up my project better than let me become rich.. cause in this moment projects is more important than money... it will be fine of being poor as long as i can submit n complete my fyp is better than being rich.. i will be very very happy if i'm able 2 complete n submit my fyp by this week.. Godess of Mercy please help me give me enough energy, strength n determination in completing my fyp even though i have no money 2 buy rice 2 eat which can boost up my energy. but i believe as long as Goddess of Mercy give the strength, energy n determination, i will able 2 done n submit my fyp even though there is lack of nutrient 4 me 2 boost up my energy..